war against time.
i've been extremely busy lately... work piled up higher den you think you can imagine. deadlines are as close as just beside you. late nights in the office, with projects on my mind before i go to sleep each night. had some kind of argument with my dad these couple of days... which really wears me out completely. i really dont feel like doing anything at all for now.and i believe that most of us would have been fighting against time for a long time. but after every single saga, time is and will still be the winner emerged. time had won for centuries. even though technologies have been improving tremendously, constantly seeking for ways to outsmart this myth about age... little did they know... the prizes for either party who wins... is death.
not that i care alot about death. i just dont wanna die ugly. i dont wanna die looking old and haggard. wrinkled skin, broken teeth and botak! i cannot imagine myself one day to be as old as my grandpas (though they're no longer around). argh... the thought of it sends a shiver down my spine.
btw, i'm currently on a few types of supplements.
vitamin E, vitamin B 1 5 6 9 and 12, cod liver oil (which contains omega 3, DHA and vitamin A), centrum multi-vits, zinc, biotin (vitamin B 7)
still finding ways to not age so soon.
take care peeps
seb at 9:40 AM
bah
today's prolly the earliest day that i'm home from work. was at singapore expo for the annual communic asia exhibition with jason... i cant comment too much about the exhibits... but one thing's for sure is that the chics there over at the samsung booth are hot! haha. and before i even knew it, i'm home by 6pm.
nothing much lately except for being busy. deadlines are drawing sooooo close that its breathing down everybody's neck. the darn air condition in the office is always either too cold or too warm. its tough to not fall sick sometimes.
haven been posting pictures of myself lately i know... so here's one to update just in case everyone else forgotten how i even look like.
nothing much lately except for being busy. deadlines are drawing sooooo close that its breathing down everybody's neck. the darn air condition in the office is always either too cold or too warm. its tough to not fall sick sometimes.
haven been posting pictures of myself lately i know... so here's one to update just in case everyone else forgotten how i even look like.
i look retarded... i know... but who cares. hah
here's my sweet rice ride before i left home from work. rise and shine.
thats all for now... dinner time.
seb at 7:29 PM
marriage
mum brought up to me the issue of marriage this morning before i left home for work. a relative of mine is getting married and his wife to be is already giving my auntie trouble. or should i say... they just cant get along well already. den my mum started coming out with alot of what ifs, so much that i just told her that i wun be marrying. i mean... if marriage is such a chore... why bother right? honestly... i dont care if i marry or not. it doesnt matter that much anymore... both my parents kept quiet la.have you wonder why people get married despite knowing all that might happen? some say its because of trust. but as you get older... you will begin to wonder if its really trust or simply just cant be bothered. i can anytime let my gf go out with her friends the entire day without me even calling her up. does that mean that i trust her? might not be the case i'm sure. i just cant be bothered. i dont like to care so much for things that i cant control.
take people around me for example. people in their 30s... you cant possibly tell me that have not been through enough to learn lessons i'm sure. whether how well do they pick up those lessons is another thing altogether. both the couple each having their own affair out there... and they jolly well know about it... yet they can still maintain the marriage. i'm sure they are really very "trusting" isnt it?
so you see... marriage is not just about love. those who marry because of love when everything else about them seems to repel, will only end up miserable. which is what i do not want. the only problem with me now is that i've become so rational... that i've lost the simplicity that i've always wanted. its a win some lose some situation i guess.
till den... take care
seb at 10:08 AM
injured finger
just came back from father's day celebration at no signboard restuarant, the outlet at the oasis. not too bad la... just that i pricked my finger while eating crab. told that silly jane abt it... and look at what she had for me.
how nice hor... dunno whether purposely laugh at me or really wanna help me bandage... haha... but see she draw until so xin ku... so dun waste her effort lor... haha
sweet dreams.
seb at 12:08 AM
rainy days
its been awhile since i slept till this late... woke up at 4.30 today... totally exhausted. sitting back on the arm chair in my room... thinking of what have happened for the recent months. despite all the company i have had... there is still a tinge of emptiness in me. sometimes... i really hated myself for who i am today... other times... i would think that this is the best way to keep myself far away from storm. i'm neither happy... nor am i really hurt anymore.i'm guilty. of everything. i've never wanted all these to happen. i just cant seem to sort things out no matter what. i felt so helpless most of the time. for once... i truly felt like crying. life definitely will never be like a bed of roses. especially for a someone like me. i dont think i deserve anyone at all. at least for now. there are so many things that i wish i could make it sound sweeter and better. there are things that i would like to do to make things right. yet on contrary... the second me hates all of these.
don't play tricks on me again.
Don't make me go insane, I can't take the pain.
i want to be that child of Yours in Your arms again.
take me away to that never land.
i praise You, in the name of love.
seb at 6:21 PM
stumbled.
yesterday i felt so down after a day's of work. i tot i would definitely need to calm myself down. to chill out. to take a breeze walk by the beach. to go blading. and end my day with a shot of jack daniels.well, perhaps i was just tired. everything. physically. i didnt know what happened when i was blading. i just stumbled. it was a unexpected fall in a very awkward position. i fell flat down on the road with my whole body facing down. yes flat down. it felt so bad. i hurt my ribs and my ankle... with bruises on my elbow. it hurts. but not as much as the hiccups i faced at work and life lately. oh god. argh...
frustrated... i think i need a psychiatrist.
seb at 9:40 AM
=(
i the midst of such chaos... i lost myself.why is it that when i dont even have time for myself... with so many pple around me... yet i'm still feeling so empty?
i just want to be simple. yet why it seems so difficult.
wad do i really want? =(((
i'm tired... my job suck
seb at 11:21 AM
cheeeeeeeee gen pie.
seriously... if you wanna know what busy giddy dizzy feels like... try my life style. day in day out i feel as if i'm floating... sometimes i think i know what i am doing... sometimes i dont. well but i guess not everything needs a reason to it. i mean... after all... its still not too late for me to feel this adventurous huh? hahit takes time to find the right kind of person for you to spend the rest of your life with. rest of your life doesnt sound quite unimportant to you isnt it? there are all kinds of people around you all the time... some may be nice... some are purely out there to have fun. i've seen my fair share of them... which is why it makes everything so scary altogether. you know... its like putting your foot into a tub of water to test if it is hot. the kind of anticipation that you're about to feel the next moment is totally subjective. you cant be so sure about what will happen. so yea... moving along with the flow... should we not close all doors until we are so sure that he or she is exactly the right one for you. i guess this should be it.
and as i've said... i dont need to owe anyone any explanation... becos to those who know me well... do not need an explanation. they just know me.
i'll try not to blog too much about my love life in future... not that it is exciting anyway... i'm just concerned about any more misunderstandings. and i think i've shrunk a lil more lately... i felt intruded.
here's the pair of blades i've bought last week.
well... i'm only able to spare this lil time to do this entry... back to another day of action. take care people. know what is best for yourself... =)
seb at 9:44 AM
women
of cos as the title... women... they are the last being on earth that i believe anyone can ever understand... not underestimating how complicated men can be though. i would say... women are more mentally challenged. haha. complex perceptions about relationships that these women have are already a hit down the last blood vessel in my already burnt out brain... but one thing that truly puzzled me is about bags.these ladies spent hundreds and even thousands on a bag. you know... those carriers that you put ur handphone and wallet in. yes those bags. den they starve themselves everyday at lunch just to save up for one... and when questioned... they will always say that they are on strict diet. fine... finally they had their dreams come true... its them with their LV GUCCI PRADA COACH... whatever. they spent their free time admiring their bags... even though it means that they have to miss their favourite tv series. and most of the time... you will find their bags sitting on a clean nice comfortable sheltered spot in the coffee shop while they dont mind to be on dirty stools elsewhere.
amazing isnt it? women.
seb at 10:06 AM
hi
hello people... sorry that i've been missing out for so long... i've no idea how many of you is still sticking to this silly place i have here... but nevertheless... i've decided to go on.its been very much like a roller coaster ride for me recently and definitely been through some kind of emotional rumblings... many thoughts needed to be sorted out... even till now. very much becos of the past that haunts... we're so afraid to move on too fast... den into another wrong step. we're also afraid to move on at time just becos we dun wan to lose some that we have this very instance. a moment of it you made me feel so certain... so sure that you might just be the one... but sometimes... you just left me baffled.
i wanna fall crazily in love. i wanna enjoy how it feels all over again. i wanna find my way back into love. i need someone right to feel this with me. else i'll just back off slowly... so quietly that you wouldnt even realise that i'm gone for good. bits and pieces of now reminds me of the the pain i used to know... overwhelming my senses... that familiar ground which i used to fall on... revisits. wondering if there will ever be a change somewhere... i want it to be different from how it used to be.
other den that... i'm pretty much into blading these days... so if anyone of you wanna join me for blading on friday nights or sundays... please let me know. work is pretty taxing lately too... i'll see if i can find another time to blog again... take care people... to those who're still around. =)
and i love this song
I have been living with a shadow overhead
I have been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I have been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can not seem to move on
I have been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I have been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can not make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh
I have been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I have been searching but I just do not see the signs
I know that it is out there
There is got to be something for my soul somewhere
I have been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throught the night
I could use some direction
And I am open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can not make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I am hoping you will be there for me in the end
There are moments when I do not know if it is real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can not make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I am hoping you will show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I will be there for you in the end
seb at 11:27 AM
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