First day at work.
i cant believe that this is gonna be my life for the next 3 years at least...i'm totally... utterly... completely... burnt out.
but still... the environment not that bad la... i got a big new office... big work space... pretty colleagues... hurmmmm... wad else can i ask for? haha... but at the rate that they are or will be feeding me... sure turn fat.
ok.. i'm tuning in now... too tired.
seb at 11:24 PM
shop till we drop!
just when i thought that life was nothing more den how it seemed like yesterday, the shopping spree i had today brought colours to my life. but when someone tells you how happy they are after shopping... when someone tells you how well retail theraphy works... they often will leave out the aftermath. they always do not mention the damage after those happiness. yes... i'm gonna be very transparent now... i'm so darn broke.here're some of my loots today. there's still a pants but because i'm short... i had to send it for alteration la.
this is not white ya... there are small blue checks on it.
and this is not pure pink ya... there're purple lines on it too...
this is a damn good buy la... 50bucks discount leh... hahah
and also after shopping... me and gary caught the movie "battle of the wits" by andy lau at the bedok's cinema... and look how big the tix are... haha
i'm already looking forward to the first pay day... haha.. when i only have to sign the contract tomorrow.
here goes... the real journey is just beginning.
seb at 12:56 AM
no longer jobless.
i've finally discover the main source of my income. starting from next tuesday. haha... i'm proud to announce... that i've finally gotten the job at SINGTEL!haha... hopefully this is gonna be a first good move for a start in my career. now before i get to check my bank account for the pay... i'll have to invest a lil more on my wardrobe. prolly meeting up with nic this sunday for a spree... haha
isnt it nice to know that i'm finally... officially... out in the real world now? haha... keeping my fingers crossed...
and now i worry... i do owe alot of pple treats i think... HAHA
seb at 12:10 AM
lived again.
i finally got my ass out of my room today since a long long time.it was my cousin's, jamie, husband to be's birthday today. its yekai's bd. we had dinner at this coffee shop in bukit timah. dishes comprises of abalone, crab, ribs, prawns and fish. delicious. haha
and after which we headed for wala wala in holland v... sad to say its actually my first time there... haha.. i'm so ashamed of myself. but nevertheless, it was a good day out with my cousins. and i'm beginning to like them so much more... haha.
here's the summary for today.
and finally the birthday boy and my cousin.
seb at 12:50 AM
sugar today.
nothing exciting today. just a couple of snap shots of sugar today. she was barking so much today that i have to put her into my mum's marketing trolley and pretend that we're going out.
seb at 11:33 PM
sometimes.
i'm pretty aggressive as i can be. and because of that... sometimes... it hurts to be me.what happens if all the what ifs are coming true. what happens if u think they're just not meant to b yours at all. and if only i could learn how to take a step back at times. i know i cant be better. this isnt my game.
i dreamt of grandpa last night. and i miss him so.
seb at 4:13 AM
santa is coming back to town.
i was stationed at paragon's M1 shop today. they had a complete different culture from where of all i used to work in, which i've only realised until i've screw things up abit. but its not that i like screwing things up on purpose wad. they didnt tell me how things r suppose to work so i had it the way that i always do. den some wannabes tried making a fuss out of it, so i gave him a piece of what i'm made of. things got sour for the rest of the day, but i couldnt care less anyway.during my lunch break, i sat alone along the streets of orchard. i guess the xmas mood here's picking up slowly. everyone's all so excited about xmas, everyone but me. i used to look forward to xmas every year. xmas was a season of joy, love, but has now became a lethal weapon against me. for it only reminded me of how alone i am.
suddenly everything around me stalled for awhile. you know, where there's no motion at all, silence. my mind just blanked out. as if it understood my inner self.
anyway... why do train rides home always seem longer den when i'm going out?
pathetic.
ouch.
seb at 10:08 PM
untitled.
nothing much again as usual... my life has more or less been at its own equilibrium. but that doesnt prove anything to be neither good nor bad. its just another substitute for saying that i'm boring.i had one of my worst train ride to school today. i'm not discriminating anyone or any race or religion at all, so dun get me wrong. but i've encountered 3 different occasions, with 3 different groups of malays in the train today... happily blasting mp3s from their darn phones. other commuters were also desperately frowning their brows, hoping that they could catch a hint or two. so people... tell me... how would you feel if u were me? i was having a terrible headache since last night, and they have to make it worse.
on the other hand.. my econs lecturer hit me hard with so much information today that i dun think i can even remember any. but at least, something he said later caught my attention. he asked if we know the difference between us and him. he said that he doesnt think when we solves problem, but we do, think very hard in fact. naturally it takes us longer to solve questions, so he urges us not to think. besides, he said that thinking hurts. impressive of that from a lecturer.
seb at 12:35 AM
exhausted.
school's getting more demanding den ever. assignments deadlines and test dates are piling up on my schedule. there's almost no room for me to breath anymore. and of course, this is when i'm more vulnerable den usual. even the slightest bark can piss me off.sugar's getting really out of hand. she now barks alot when things doesnt come the way she wants it to be. blame it on a lousy owner like me.
some people just wouldnt get it. they behave exactly like sugar. i dun wan to go into any details, because i'm pretty sure that i'll get all heated up again. its all about our conflicts in interest.
forget it.
seb at 11:25 PM
untitled.
i guess its prolly the first time that this blog was left untouched for more den a day. have been pretty busy lately... with my temp job over the weekends, with school, with other follow up commitments. i think i really am very exhausted, prolly still trying to adapt. school assignments are piling up and i totally am clueless as of how to even get started. i'm beginning to dread going to school, i'm beginning to hate days when i'm still jobless. so things aint that smooth sailing for me afterall ay?yea and last night after class dad took me to this pet shop along upper serangoon road... and their doggy stuff there are really dirt cheap. i got sugar's dry food changed to this brand called "back to basic". and she seems to love it alot. the shop owner has this 2 big chow chow... which i think you guys shld really check them out... so cute! hah
lets pray that i do find myself a proper job soon... and i mean real soon. i cant survive too long without a job... not that i like working that much... but i'm pretty sure that my cashflow is running very very very low.
seb at 2:15 PM
airport
today's the first of my three days temp job. nothing much to talk about it except that i hate to say that those sweet welcomes that i see from couples are truely very discouraging. i could almost feel that absence of those hugs and kisses from someone special, right before you can even say a thing the minute u're at the arrival hall.*shrugs*
seb at 10:12 PM
untitled.
nothing much for today actually... just that when i was at my econs lecture earlier on... i tried reading what i've written on the notes from my previous lecture. and to my horror... i cant even recognise my own handwriting.nonsense.
seb at 12:22 AM
relationship being like a piece of blank paper.
a quote from someone in fp.about relationship being like a piece of blank paper. Both of you starts with a clean sheet of paper and initially both of you will be happily writing your story on it. Over time, one may be tired and write less and the other party has to put in extra effort and fill in the space. Sometimes, it might be the other way round and one party have to compromise or give in or put more effort to ensure the words keep flowing. If either party chooses to stop writing or chooses to write on another piece of paper, the story just can't go on. It's as simple as that.
hurmmm who's willing to do my compo with me? haha
seb at 1:42 PM
praying for a job.
singtel called me up this morning pertaining to the position of a business executive i've applied last night. this nice young lady wanted to schedule me for an interview this friday morning which unfortunately i'm not able to make it. just when i thought she would never call me up again, i've received an email in my outlook. it was from that lady who called me up earlier, now wanting me to complete my online resume before she can get me another date. thank god my good old cousin cynthia was there to help me complete my cv.so lets just pray that everything will turn out better den my previous interview with the bank? haha
anyway... today's yoyo's birthday. and here's a pic of my group of lovable classmates.
may the force be with me.
seb at 1:47 AM
Message To My Girl
I don't want to say "I love you"That would give away too much.
Good to be detached and precious,
the only thing you feel is vicious.
I don't want to say "I want you"
even though I want you so much.
It's wrapped up in conversation,
it's whispered in a hush.
Though I'm frightened by the word,
think it's time that it was heard.
No more empty self possession,
visions swept under the mat.
It's no New Years resolution,
it's more than that.
Now I wake up happy
warm in lovers embrace.
No one else can touch us
while we're in this place.
So I'll sing it to the world
this simple message to my girl.
No more empty self possession,
visions swept under the mat.
It's no New Years resolution,
it's more than that.
Though I'm frightened by the word,
think it's time I made it heard.
So I'll sing it to the world
this simple message to my girl.
No more empty self possession,
visions swept under the mat.
It's no New Years resolution,
it's more than that.
Oh there's nothing quite as real
as the touch of your sweet hands.
I can't spend the rest of my life
buried in the sand.
i just cant have enough of this song... i'm totally addicted to it. damien leith... his voice just swept me away. took me through this ride through space. made me wanna fall in love so much more.
today, i just wanna do nothing at all. dun even feel like studying for the class test i'm having tomorrow. for another moment in my life... i just wanted to be alone (ok... maybe i've always been alone).
seb at 3:29 PM
another shoot.
first thing first, i have to give myself a well deserved a pat on the shoulder for deceiving quite a number of you out there with my previous post. haha.ok... nothing much today... except that i woke up really early for a shoot which i've promised ericia a long time ago. haha. i'm too tired to go into detail... but its really nice to work with her ya. and of cos... to thank mr nic chee... for spending his precious time shooting with me today... haha. give yourself a round of applause!
here're some of what i've shot today (i didnt shoot alot btw, haha).
i think the next date that i'll shoot again will be on the 18th.
till den... sweet dreams.
seb at 11:08 PM
my scandalous affair.
nights have been very tormenting ever since i've been placed back on the shelf. i would normally dump a couple glasses of whiskey down my zombified body each time before i go to sleep. last night, i've decided to take myself to the pub for once.i walked my despondent self straight to the bar after my sociology class. they were playing classic jazz last night. i couldnt help but the think back on how madly in love i was once before. it suck when you get to compare between the before and after. i felt so dejected.
it was already 12 midnight when i think i had a lil too much to drink. right at the other end of the bar counter was this very attractive lady, a pisces. lets call her grace. i knew she's a pisces because we started chatting soon after. it was pure coincidence that she's another forlorn soul, taking a breather only for tonight. we shared our encounters and only later that we realised that its already passed 3am.
we left the pub and i really wanted to send her home. i cant explain why the change, but there's a tinge of embarrassment while we're in the cab. i walked her right to her doorstep, her place looks huge. it's a semi D along bukit timah. it took me awhile to finally say goodbye. it felt something like "parting's such sweet sorrow" if u get wad i meant.
it only took me a step away from her, when she suddenly invited me into her place for a drink. i cant explain that pull, but i agreed almost instantaneously. the place is like a dream. victorian tiles, dimly lited, and best of all, everyone else at home went abroad.
we started kissing. passionately. she isnt anywhere like an ordinary girl. we were almost like making out in this aura which speaks only for romance. it felt unbelievable. the sex was good.
and i woke up this morning, only to realise that she's gone. everything around me seemed exactly like my room. and to tell you peeps that after reading all the way till here, everything that you've read was made up by me. haha... ok... i was just bored. but it would be nice if something like that would have happened to me. =)
seb at 1:50 PM
rainy days.
like out of the sudden, i dun feel like doing anything at all. i dun feel like talking. i dun feel like eating (thats because i've just eaten). and i dun even feel like going to school.i used to like rainy days though. when one's not feeling that lonely of course. we could run about teasing each other in the rain, with those laughters that never did exist (i'm making this up, its always nice to have a scene like this). yet now all that relates me to the rain is me swearing and cursing at the weather for getting me all drenched.
all my life i've been living for the passion i have for art, for a love that we would all wanna die for, which these days, we can hardly even hear anyone breathing anything about it at all! have they all been vaporised or what? for once i wish that now's prolly the best time for a wake up call, to get myself socially integrated.
you guys shld just check out clara's post today, it reminded me of something similiar which i've said to someone awhile ago(i cant remember who), that i really do not need a someone who would bear me 10 kids, to stay at home every other day thinking of what to cook for dinner tonight, forever busy with the washing machine and vacuum cleaner. i could have just marry a maid for that!
comon... just someone simple that i could learn to love. to share my everyday with. it doesnt matter if its gonna take awhile for me to meet that someone. but pls if you could hear me, dun deprive me from this gift.
also, i think its time for me to start building the numbers in my pathetic bank account, and stop spending too much on my equipments. well, at least i'll try to.
seb at 3:56 PM
Sugar went Paris.
was digging out some of the older collection of photos sugar had... and i found this.
lucky her... not even i have a chance to be there... =(
seb at 6:52 PM
sugar's hair cut.
since i'm jobless these days... and since i've no lesson for today... i've decided to give sugar another hair cut. isnt she a lucky lil girl with such a nice friend like me? hahaso... can anyone notice the difference? hah
i was feeling kind of down lately, maybe you guys can already guess why. sugar was here beside me, and just simply by sitting beside me, i could already sense her concern. at times when the feelings in me were just overwhelming, when tears start falling, sugar will always be here with her many kisses. tell me what should i do without her oneday?
and also, none of the companies have yet to get back to me. especially maybank. i guess i really screwed the interview last week. sigh.
seb at 4:40 PM
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