Sugar's first tooth!!!
i was walking out of my room an hour ago to fetch myself a glass of water when i suddenly felt something under my foot. took a closer look of what i was stepping on den i realised its a tooth, sugar's first tooth! i made a wish to fairy god mum, wishing that sugar can be with me forever.
that hole in the middle, dunno whether is it a decay or wad... but doesnt the tooth looks cute too? haha. since mum's out... i gave her a call to help me get a cute lil bottle to contain this god's gift.
den i went out to look for her... see if she's up to any mischief. (just bathed her btw)
she gave me this look that she might be guilty of something. i couldnt find anything yet though.
the secondary school nearby was preparing for their national day performance... and sugar seems to response pretty quickly to the music... sugar always like music. she will always be there before me when my phone starts ringing.
i love you baby.
seb at 2:16 PM
SJI
sometimes... its really not easy to find a balance in life. like those days when i have money but no time, and now, so much free time but no money. i'm a total screw up i think. she must be glad that she had left me.anyway... had breakfast with my cousins in the morning at the mac donalds in east coast park. looking at how fast my niece and newphew have grown... i'm beginning to feel old for once.
xavier and caleen. xavier's in the videography club in his school. i'm sure he's gonna grow up like me... haha... BUT... thats not the point... because... they call me uncle lor! argh.
i went down to the singapore arts museum (formally known as saint joseph's instituition) after the gathering, to do some recce for a shoot next week. i could feel every ray of holiness on my skin in my alma mater. i could hear brother paul and brother michael leading us with our daily morning prayers. i miss those school days.
hail to SJI!
they renovated the entire building which turns out to be pretty good actually. the original style of the building is still in tact, and now they added a contemporary touch to it. i like. but in my opinion, its not very suitable for a photoshoot still.
i took a stroll around the place... into the galleries...
i wun mind to sit on that bench in that room the entire day reading my novels. i wan my house to look like that too. simple.
after the recce, when i was browsing around in Times bookstore, i saw this book that sophie once told me to read. and since i needed help desperately, i've decided to bring it home to digest. had a glimpse of the content and i spotted something which i thought i should share.
"she is my kryptonite. and like superman, i was powerless in her wake. but if you've seen the movies, you know that superman always figures out a way to overcome krypotonite."
you know i could have been your superman. gave me up. and i'll find a way to overcome the pain you've inflicted on me too.
lastly... althought we may have seen how ugly reality may be... still... nothing beats the place where we call home. here's my balcony view. cheers.
seb at 4:31 PM
airport
met up with vincent and desmond in the afternoon for a swim at tampines safra. had lunch at bedok interchange. went home to change and headed down to changi airport to send clara off. after she left, i loitered around the airport, sat in the viewing gallery. though i was staring blank, once again, lots of thoughts went rumbling in my mind. i remembered the many good old days where we used to have, from the days when i send you off before you left for hongkong, when we were going to thailand, when you wanted to send your brother off, when i was there with you to receive your relatives. you know that atmosphere there, where people come and go, with joy or in tears, makes me wanna hug you so much.just bear with me while i do this in chinese for the very first time.
我不能像你这样说分了就忘。也不能像你一样那么勇敢。只记得当初那些温柔，只记得你在我左边握着我的手，记得你那傻傻的笑容。美好时光重是离人好快。我来不及答应你永远，也来不及记住你那完美无瑕的脸孔。常看出窗外的我，不小心流下了泪水。看见情人在街上面带笑容，让我感到一阵阵的遗憾，伤心和难过。如今，我虽说不出对你和他祝福的话，但你知道我要你快乐。我真的好想你。
where had you go, i miss you so.
seb at 3:06 AM
i'm broke
in every sense of the word... yes i'm broke... very single, penniless.mr keith's very nice today. he treated both me and soh geok to ktv. it was pretty enjoyable.
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this is soh geok. say cannot sing cannot sing... end up doing so much better den me.
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here's keith, the million dollar singer. he won like dunno how many singing competition already. i have problem listing all of them here.
den i rushed off to school... and just like the good old poly days... we are still fooling around during class. those stupid jokes we used to crack... i thought... are still pretty funny.
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our props.
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junwei (l) and junhong (r)... cant seem to shake them off since poly year 1. haha.
you know... there's nothing that really matters to me anymore. even tear jerking movies to me now seems monotonous. every pitch i hear, like what keith says, i'm tone deaf. this ugly ugly world burst my dreams and killed my hopes.
seb at 11:33 PM
this ugly world
since its a long weekend for me... i thought it might be better for me to take a breather somewhere else besides home today. i went a lil too far i guess. but it feels better den when i'm sober.everytime when i close my eyes, you're always the one i see. i cant find any words to describe how much i miss you. i really do miss you. i can try a thousand different ways to get you out of my mind, yet you're still the one i think of all the time. it doesnt matter who's beside me, i couldnt care less anyway, since its not you. i dun mind hurting another heart, just because its not yours.
i was reaffirm after tonight, that with the money that i'm willing to spend each night, all women seems the same. the dollar signs i see in their eyes, makes me wanna puke. they can say anything, in fact, do anything to get close to you, just for the sake of those bills. maybe you're very much alike. i thought you were different.
love to me is a game that i'm not up for, before. i can be a player, a very good one i think. but this isnt what i was hoping to become! you took me further away from everything. i cant even recognise myself now.
i wan to be the one you see every morning when you wake up. i wan to be the only one that you hug and kiss all the time. i wan to be the one holding your hands when i take those vows. i wan to be the one making your meals everyday. i wan to be your husband and the father of your kids.
now... i wan to forget you.
seb at 2:57 AM
enough
i was putting all the pieces together for once... and i realised a whole new idea of how much i meant to you. prolly this explains all the negligence i've gotten from you months before. maybe thats why everything i've said, trying to cheer u up, seems dumb. i'm beginning to feel like a fool. i trusted you... DAMNIT... I TRUSTED YOU!ok... maybe it was really me. but i tried to give u all that i could. they might not be enough, but given the situation i'm in, you know there's nothing much i can do about it. you said you wun mind waiting. i could get rich someday. so why not wait? its just 2more months. putting aside the dollar signs for now, haven i tried to be nice to you? you're prolly the girl i paid most attention to! lets just say that my attention wasnt enough.
do you have any idea how much that hurts? of course not. why should u know anyway? they say that a gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man can perfect without adversity. i say bullocks! a man can perfect knowing that the love he provides is appreciated.
you've been really nice to me... before. you've been nicED. we should have dumped this rs jurassic years ago.
she's prolly my most trusted friend now. always here for me no matter what.
taken this like 3days ago la... look like a cock... because you know why. drained the life out of me.
my thoughts today:
good guys always finish last... ALWAYS. (not that i'm good... but will avoid being one in future)
i'm gonna emerge stronger one day... you'll see.
seb at 10:22 PM
a part of me
today's pretty much the same as my any other day. i still woke up late. waved bye to sugar before rushing to work. took the same old bus with a number of familiar faces, all looked as if they haven been sleeping well too. den i put on my ear phones, listening to the same old tracks, and i start to get a lil dreamy. i still joke around in the office, falling asleep as always, trying to be the seb that everyone knows. i mean, life still goes on.i can pack up all the sweet lil stuff that you've made for me. putting aside the tonnes of pictures we took. i can delete you off my contact lists. i can refrain myself from contacting you in any possible ways. but why is that you're still on my mind?
sugar kept me busy ever since i'm home from work. i cant seem to get myself started on my tutorials. someone pls get this load off my chest?
blogger's such a pain in the ass... either i cant get my post published... or they delete my post... or like now... i cant fucking upload my pics. talking about how suay someone can be. if u think u're bad... take a look at me!
seb at 10:02 PM
that bus ride.
the bus ride home today seemed exceptionally long. i was staring out of the window, at this unfamiliar world i live in. lots of thoughts were running wild in my mind. if there are to be break ups, why love in the first place? if i'm not the one for you, den why me right from the beginning?i hear people fretting about their daily life amongst the sad songs i was listening to, and i wonder how many people actually are contented with what they are having now. i've never wished to start a relationship when i have to eventually end it one day. especially not the relationship i had with you. especially when i thought you're gonna be the one.
den i recalled the times we had when we were still young and innocent. the sweet lil things that we did together, your every lil silly gestures, always bring a smile to me. i would cherish every moment spent with you, like those bus rides which later slowly fades away.
i was mesmerised by that extraordinary beauty which you possessed. i took every words you said seriously. i trusted you. i never did expect... this... to happen someday. i'm hurt.
like the bus ride, i knew that this is my stop. i could have chosen to not alight, miss my destination, heading towards the wrong direction. i was really reluctant to get my ass off the bus seat actually, but i knew that i would have to eventually, its just a matter of time. you would never understand how excruciating it was for me to come up with a decision at that instance. i watched how callously the bus left the stop, just like the way you left me.
i felt as if i can never love again.
my thought of the day:
no truth can ever hurt me more den a lie.
seb at 9:06 PM
the first day.
just got home not too long ago. wasnt exactly the kind of night that i thought i would live, but it didnt turn out too bad afterall. perhaps its all meant to be.my first day out of your life, doesnt seem too different though. i've been thinking of you. sometimes, people like me would choose to indulge in all sorts of activities trying to keep my focus off things that we wish to forget. but being conscious enough to know the things i have to forget, makes it harder to let go.
i fell hard this time, i blame myself for it. i'll pick myself up someday, not repeating the same foolish mistakes i've made in our rs. i no longer wish to be seb.
you'll always have that special place in my heart, and i promise that noone could ever replace.
seb at 4:50 AM
the truth's out
some things i thought i would rather not know. but somehow, i knew.an hour ago we were finally having a friendly chat over msn. the comments you gave me for the photos i took meant more den anything else. even if it was just a "nice". den i realised we were nothing more den just friends. you've moved on. i wish you the best.
for a moment like now, nothing makes sense anymore. the pain that suddenly came to me doesnt seem to hurt at all, i thought. i dun wanna be myself anymore. i cant.
i'm feeling so helpless. left there to drown. like watching a sad old film on tv, i got very very emotional. ok... now its really brain fucking me. god.... it hurts so fucking bad.
i deleted every single photos of you in my computer. kept every single thing you gave me in that old brown box. i tried to erase you from memory. you dont exist anymore.
seb at 5:29 PM
you.
sometimes, though i hate to admit, i do miss you quite abit. i would remember those silly moments we had during those innocent days. you were the best friend i could always turn to whenever i needed a rest. somewhere somehow things went wrong. how did it happen, i thought was vague. i could still feel your presence, but could no longer see your pretty face. i didnt want all these to happen, i had no choice.i knew we were once in love, or maybe, you once loved me. the care we showered on each other in a way or another, seemed different. not exactly the kind that we were expecting. but we were once very happy together werent we?
how could things have changed so soon. everything was like yesterday. i was still holding you close to me and the next thing i know, you were gone. like how sand ran through my fingers.
you always knew i needed nothing else but romance, with you. you knew there's nothing that i wouldnt do. you knew that i cant stop loving you.
i cant ask for forever with you. i know its now never possible.
just dont ever forget me.
what happened to those aficionados of love?
seb at 1:36 AM
.
today was simple. attended the safsa finals in the afternoon, den did a lil work out in bedok stadium, and after which i met gary for a swim. nothing much to blog about anyway. nothing new, nothing special, nothing more den just me.i dunno why i still feel that pinch on my heart whenever i see u online. arent you suppose to mean nothing else more den just another somebody to me? this is one tough nut.
seb at 12:17 AM
home
i've decided to take a day off from everything today. the past few days left me with no time to breathe, as much as i want to, i'm human.i suddenly felt guilty for not keeping sugar company for quite sometime... she must have been mad at me. so i took a stroll to the interchange... and got her...
a pack of new bones....!
look at how happy she is... already jumping for it...
and i also got myself some ingredients for baking coffee cakes... i've made 2 of them and it tasted so much better den the brownies i made previously.
here's the tedious part... luckily my good old aunt sponsored me with this mixer....
den i emptied it...
here's my coffee cake fresh from the oven.
and the end result... who says guy cant cook?
once in awhile i'll feel a lil lost, like when i'm standing infront of a busy road, traffic's hectic, everything's in black and white, mute. i wanna do nothing else... absolutely nothing else... but just be there on my sofa... listening to a sweet piece of classic jazz from that broken player... with the tick and tocks of that grandpa clock.
seb at 9:08 PM
jaded still. more den yesterday
i'm seriously gonna die from the lack of sleep.anyway peeps... thanks for the offers for the photoshoot thingy... keep it coming... i enjoy being occupied... especially for things that i enjoy doing. but i would appreciate if you can give me more details of the shoot.
its best if you are the model, however, you can provide me with one. dresses and make up can be provided and done by anyone... anyone but me. i would love to advise on it though. it would be good if i can get to talk to the models a day before the shoot... preferably online. fix a date, on weekends please. let me know if u are really really really clueless on where to shoot. lastly, let me know all these beforehand.
i'm so exhausted... good night.
seb at 2:16 AM
jaded.
4days with about 10hours of sleep in total. physically as well as mentally taxing. i'm gonna drop dead very soon.too tired to come out with an entry now... but i would like to know if there's anyone here who's interested in photoshoots (i need more practise). kindly drop me an email at sebtography@yahoo.com.sg or just simply tag me here. and also leave me ur contacts if i do not have them.
thank you.
seb at 12:03 AM
photoshoot
i thought that today was kind of fruitful. like so many things i did in a day. i'm proud of myself.my good dear niece came and pick me up this morning to join the rest for the photo shoot. we took quite awhile to find our way to the kampong but i guess it was worth the trouble. it did rain for awhile, den followed by a very unforgiving sunshine. everyone were enjoying themselves i feel, but we were all jaded, and dehydrated, at the end of the shoot. i had like 30 shots today and of which i feel that 12 were ok, so i didnt screw up too badly afterall.
for those who're interested in the pics i took today...
click here for more of it.
i'll be pretty busy for the next couple of days... might not be blogging...
seb at 12:23 AM
i like to be busy.
i used to doubt people with multitudinous activities that goes on for days to weeks to months and sometimes, years. prolly because i never had a chance to live my life that way. not till now that i'm learning to appreciate the importance of being occupied all the time. time past faster this way.its been awhile since i caught something on the big screen. superman isnt really that fantastic, overrated if you were to ask me. the plot was kind of flat and the cinema we were in was too freaking cold. i had NYDC for the very first time (as far as i can remember that is), not too bad for a start. this impromptu "date" had its pieces fallen in quite neatly i think, really did enjoy myself today.
den i saw wad sophie left for me on my tag. thought that i should share this with those who might be going through wad i'm going through now.
"There’s no doubt about it—breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there’s one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can’t and shouldn’t be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. It’s over for a reason, and deep down inside you probably know what that reason is. It’s called a breakup because it’s broken, and starting today, you’re not the kind of woman who settles for broken, or hangs on to damaged goods, be it a radio, a pair of shoes, or a relationship. It’s time to get rid of all the broken stuff you’ve been lugging around for days, months, and maybe even years, and make the bold decision to start looking for stuff that works! Because the longer you stay stuck in a dead-end relationship, the less time you get on this planet to experience a great one. "
It’s called a breakup because it’s broken. we broke it so badly that i even had problem finding the pieces. that's it, why should i feel so bad when its nobody's fault, i'm getting out of this relentless mess.
looking forward to the photoshoot in a few more hours time. i might be able to share some takes tomorrow night if i dun screw up too badly.
seb at 3:01 AM
a wish i wished for.
if only you can see my languid smile i'm wearing on my face right now. it was an exceptionally long day. what ifs are running wild in my mind, i cant seem to find the path i was on, or that i'm suppose to be on. maybe i should remain nonchalant, oblivious of my surrounding. maybe i should find someone new, pretending that i've moved on. maybe i wished i could be there with you again next month, on your birthday.i'm frazzled, in every sense of it. i could've been sad to know that you might be better off without me, but at the same time, i could've been happy for you too. its been months, perhaps years, since i've been trying to move on. i'm moving on, maybe just a tad slower. i wish i could've been the one, for you.
they say time will heal all wounds, i reckoned. maybe it really did change my life, everything else but my hunger for your attention.
i wished i had a wish, to wish for a dream, of you and i, together forever.
i cant believe that its all gone, just like that.
seb at 4:01 AM
reminiscence.
i was at the SAFSA sports meet today... everthing there seemed so familiar... like how it used to be 7 years ago. the sight of athletes, the smell of the track, i miss the good old days. we didnt make to through to the finals, but i truely enjoyed myself today. never thought that i would have another chance to race on what i used to be so good at. where i was once so proud of myself.many times i really wanted to get competitive again. i wanna race like how i used to, like how the wind touches my face. i really regret the things i've done when i was young and foolish. it cost me my pride.
sugar sensed my desperation. i knew i could rely on noone else except sugar. she was with me all these while... until she fell asleep. here's some shots i got of her today.
top view...
look how innocent she is when she's sleeping...
she saw me. sleepyhead.
seb at 9:11 PM
TOO LITTLE TIME!
suddenly i feel so busy. gotta spend extra hours everyday morning cleaning up sugar's poo, den prepare myself for work. work's normally a breeze but of course there're idiots i cant stand sometimes. i'll normally go gyming after work, but the gym's closed for the past few days and i'm feeling guilty already. i'm usually very tired when i'm home yet have to drag myself downstairs to take sugar for a walk, den clean her endless poo. now i realised that i've tonnes of tutorials that i've not done and i still have to prepare for the SAFSA 4 x 400m challenge tomorrow (its been almost 7years since i've last raced on a track! miss the good old tracking days though).now i think i need more photographers to come along with me. overwhelming response from my volunteers to do my photoshoot this sunday. i wish i wun screw up too much on the actual day... i mean... afterall... i'm not exactly exposed to portrait photography. and also... can someone pls remind me to fix myself a bounce card (doesnt matter if u dun know what it is... jus remind me) tomorrow night when i'm home? pls?
i'm getting too old to remember alot of stuff... and i'm too lazy to get myself an organiser... i know there's something pretty important that i've to blog, but i cant seem to recall what it is!
seb at 10:57 PM
i bake!
i took sometime out from my daily routine to do something special today. i've decided to bake. the recipe was from ma'am agnes, and i really do appreciate all her effort for explaining everything to me. well it didnt exactly turn out very very very well.... but i thought was edible.
here's wads in my brownies... i'll post the recipe at the end of this post....
ermm... here's one when its baking.... i think i did over cook a lil la.... maybe thats y it tasted a lil dry.
fresh from the oven... microwave oven.... haha
my end product.... doesnt look too bad right? at least i hope u can tell that its a brownie....
here's the recipe as promised:
250g - unsalted butter
1 cup - brown sugar
1/2cup - caster sugar
4 - eggs
3/4cup cocoa powder
2tsp - vanilla extract
1/4tsp - sat
1 tsp - baking powder
1 cup - plani flour
1/4cup - ground almonds (optional)
1 cup - choc chips
1 cup - chopped nuts (optional)
method:
- preheat oven to 180 deg. melt butter in small pan. mix butter with brown n caster sugar.
- add 1 egg at a time. mix well before the next egg. once all 4 eggs r in... add cocoa powder. den vanilla extract
- mix flour with salt n baking powder.. den mix with the rest. add ur ground almonds n choc chips. mix well.
- pour in tray 9" by 9". bake for abt 30 -35mins (depends... i did 25mins on my microwave n i think its a lil over) ... after done, leave it to cool overnight.
Happy baking.
seb at 11:30 PM
what the fuck?
i swear i had a longer entry den this earlier on... blogger screwed up and i lost my post... now i'm too lazy to type them all over again. this is not the first time that its happening... they dun safe guard their bloggers' posts! i'm feeling insecured.i was saying something about the world cup last night. was a match worth watching despite me losing the bet, with tiffany. both teams i thought played very well, and yes, the world cup was finally put to an end by Italy's resounding victory. i was contemplating on having a long vacation in Africa for the next world cup. who's interested to join me? or maybe i should start thinking about Euro 2008 first instead?
yiru likes colourful blog, and i would like to dedicate this small lil section for her pleasure.
Question: why does saddam always win in the game of manjong?
Answer: because saddam hussein (saddam hu xian)... means saddam win first in mandrin
p.s. does anyone here knows how to become a hunk in less den a month? pls drop me a email if u really do have something very constructive to share. thank you.
seb at 11:00 PM
rainy days.
i used to like rainy days alot you know... might sound kind of dramatic... but it would be really nice if i could run around in the rain with my significant other... after a hot shower, we can tease each other with pillow fights... den we cuddle up comfortably in bed...sheesh... now i wish it will never rain.... damn the moody sky....
was kind of bored... tot that i could draw something to illustrate how i am feeling right now... and here's it...
seb at 2:58 PM
love
i find myself sober enough to get this entry recorded.what is love to all of you out there? how do we define love? have you ever wonder what kind of love do you yearn for, or at least the criterias needed for your kind of love. many times, i've been questioning myself about the perfect love. i though i knew what love was, until i was proven wrong once again. to think that i've been through enough to understand how love works, foolish me. what we wan might seem feasible, simple to achieve. den again, it seems simple. i can ask for someone who'll love me endlessly, understanding and appreciates my affections. i dont think i'm asking for too much am i? but sometimes, to find someone like that, takes a life time.
how nice would it be if you were to find someone you love at home when you're back from work? to give you that kind of smile which will melt any ice bergs. to tell you that she loves you all the time, knowing that she's the one. we can share the kitchen, i'll cook our favourite dishes, and you'll tell me how nice it taste. i'll wash the plates, and you'll be there watching my every action, as if its something new to you. den we kiss.
i thought that i should deserves another chance to love. to experience that kind of feelings where we would skip heartbeats everytime we meet, over and over again. i dun wan to have an end to it, we'll both make it happen. to share the joy of our first child, i'll stand by you always. together we'll watch them grow, we'll be proud parents. all these sounds so perfect isnt it? i've been searching for you ever since. why is it that you're taking so long to find me? where are you exactly?
love is that simple. dun you ever make it sound impossible. i dun wanna give up, not now. i need you, so incomplete without you, love.
seb at 4:49 AM
nothing to do... on a saturday.
i was expecting a call up today for mobilisation. for a moment i thought it was confirmed and i've actually cancelled all my appointments for today. and so i was lying on my bed the whole fucking day, waiting for that call to come. which of course didnt happen. and i'm now left alone without any programmes, living in fear that next saturday will be the live one. i dun wanna sound as if i'm whining, but THIS IS RESTRICTING MY FUCKING LIFE!i bathed sugar about 2 hours ago and realised that she've grown quite abit. i remembered that day when i first brought her home, i was comfortable holding her with a hand... she's certainly heavier now. i bet i'm gonna miss her good old puppy days when she gets older. which is why, i love photography that much.
here's some of my takes today.
i dun wan you to grow up anymore... i dun wish to lose you oneday for i know i'll not be able to take it. you've been playful and destructive, but innocent. always there for me when i'm so down each night, cheering me up in a way or another. i love the way you look at me each time with curiousity. i love the way you choose to follow me everywhere i go. i love how you go about chewing on everything you find interesting. i love your company. somehow fate have brought us together. and since that day i took your lil paws home, you know that you've already become a part of me.
its amazing how relationships happen isnt it?
if only... ...
seb at 1:58 PM
my camera's back!!!
finally collected my precious this afternoon before school. i was so lost without it for its the only camera around that i own to be able to satisfy my lust for photography.anyway, today was my first day of school. it was pretty enriching in a way where i can actually relate the content of studies with our daily routine. with the hawthorne effect, people actually work better den what they usually do in the office. like a better word to replace it would be wayang. there're a handful of those people around in every environment i suppose. and also there're also mr know-it-all who are not exactly right all the time, but because of the placebo effect, whatever that comes from them, seems right. i learn pretty fast dun i?
so glad i'm in the same class as ah ong, junwei and junhong. at least i know i've someone to rely on for notes and the best seats for times when i know i cant make it on time for class (which seems like its gonna be always).
like today, i was there early. met up with junwei for dinner....
i wasnt really as hungry as him, but i guess the food was good?
the lesson was held in a smaller lecture theatre, like the one above. took this 15mins before lesson proper. most were late as it seems.
once again... junwei with his signature look... (didnt manage to get a shot on ah ong and junhong, they we late for class too).
i got this feeling that i'm gonna like school alot. for now. =)
here's sugar today with her new bone. too busy chewing on it that she even start to ignore me.
gonna give this lil devil a bath tomorrow. she stinks. literally.
seb at 11:11 PM
Happy Birthday Ericia!!!
Hey pretty... you're 22 now! welcome to the club....anyway... happy birthday. beauty and brains are redundant for me to even wish ya... you have them all... so i hope that someday you'll find someone you can really like and who can love you more den anyone else. cos thats what you deserves aite.
may your dreams come true.
seb at 12:47 AM
my thoughts.
i was just wondering what would it be like if we could have taken a walk through our past as if we're our own audience. to have the ability to tell ur own concious back den on what we should and should not do. if i were given a chance like this... there're so much that i would like to change. the thought about winding back the hands of time keeps my mind occupied for the rest of the day.i wished i had 48hrs a day. there're so many things that i've always been wanting to do. i wanna make a difference in the lifes around me. i wished i could do more den some silly drawings to brighten up one's day. i hope that you guys could understand my desire for superhuman powers, i wanted to see more of that smile u put on your pretty face.
aite... was kind of bored at work as usual. and here's something that you dun normally see...
and i also left sugar on a chair where she's always too scared to jump...
isnt she adorable?
ok... thats all for today's junk.... i'm sick.
seb at 10:38 PM
mix feelings.
something that has been so close to me all these months, is leaving me now. i was just learning to cherish every single noun around me, yet you just have to go. memories, bitter and sweet. i blame myself for leaving u in the open, unattended. i should have kept u out of reach. i was devastated for awhile. i scolded sugar when i know that she is too innocent to understand my frustration. she tore you, blame me. you used to be on the passenger seat, where she seats and carries. now that you're gone, the smell u carried, of her, the memories of us that you contain, breaks my heart. i'm so sorry... so terribly sorry. i cant forgive myself like that. careless me. careless me.
good bye my memories. good bye. i'm so sorry.
like the law of scarcity that was mentioned in elaine's blog, too much "i love you" makes it sounds insignificant. The law of scarcity means that when we can't have something, we want it more. And when we know we can have as much as we want of something, we want it less.
something for all of you to ponder about. how many times in life have you taken things for granted because it was there for you whenever you needed it? not that i'm asking you people to give less of what you're giving now, but more of noticing things that you've taken for granted, and learn to cherish them more. i guess the law of scarcity meant that way.
i learn from the mistakes i've made, alot i know, but i'll learn. i wun say that i'm not ready for a relationship now, because i wun know when will i be ready anyway. guess its more like a one hit off kind of thing, when the minute you find yourself so comfortable with someone, he's prolly the one. its not too difficult to find the one actually, but to make things work, its where we'll apply all the lessons that we've learnt through those heartaches. think about it. it makes sense to me at least. my own analogy.
its not exactly good to be too sentimental at times. but, i'm a capricorn you see. its in me.
seb at 9:36 PM
i need more rest...
yet another tiring day today... in fact... today was longer den yesterday. as usual, went gyming with desmond today after work, and now my whole body is aching badly. i'll try to make this a daily routine as far as possible.
sometimes, we do get a lil bored while working. so i've decided to show my flair on the whiteboard.
sometimes, we do get a lil bored while working. so i've decided to show my flair on the whiteboard.
august 23rd. the day when i start to clear my leave. and also... a day that its pretty difficult to forget. we'll see how things are by den.
anyway, here's some of the pictures i took during SAF day.... without my camera... hope you people like it.
the march out.
the military band.
the new army RSM senior warrant jeffery (left) and brigadier general winston toh.
the overview of the parade.
photography's my passion. with or without a professional camera, to me, any photograph that's able to bring out the significance of a part of history, is a good photograph. what we see in pictures, once happened.
seb at 11:22 PM
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