i like today.
today's a very special day... for myself... shalln't mention why... but i guess i'm getting lucky.nothing much to blog about in particular... but since i'm gonna make this a habbit... do or die... i'll try to pen something down still.
i'll be meeting mike tomorrow to get the flash from him, and of course to buy some other essentials before meeting up with nic for a fashion shoot. i'll be observing only, and only if time allow, i'll try to sneak a shot or two for you peeps to critque.
here's my new toy joining my line up of gadgets.
dopod 838pro
seb at 12:00 AM
facts.
do you know that there wun be any more polar bears in Singapore? the zoo's giving them up becos some specialist did some research on the bears here and said that the bears are all just too traumatised by the environment even in the man-made aquarium. so just a food for thought, visit them now before they're gone.i love sugar to bits... even during my darkest moments... i know she'll always be here right beside me. i can tell her everything exactly the way i feel and i feel no threat for betrayal. i couldnt have make it this far if it isnt for her. no matter how much my heart would ache at times... whenever she lifts that lil paw of her at me, its like a pat on my shoulder telling me to go on. and i'll go on, for her.
seb at 11:47 PM
argh.
have been trying to fix the mess that my dumb sister had left for me. and luckily i could still find my way back online.my day today didnt exactly started off very well. on my way to work this morning, i saw this dead cat being ripped apart, and all its organs i think were missing. i wished i had taken some photos of it, but i was kind of in a hurry to work. think people these days are too stressed up and have been trying to find means to vent on, and in the process of searching, they've not realised that they're already sick in the mind.
met up with clement after work, wanting to catch the sunset again since we've missed it the last time at changi broadwalk. nevertheless, the weather wasnt really kind to us lately, just another day wasted.
am i becoming kind of short tempered these days? i dunno, but it seemed so. it really isnt easy being me. i took a moment off everything when i got home today, to give sugar a long warm hug. it felt good. i wun ever wan to know how's a day like without her. she seemed to know that i m not exactly very please with myself lately.
sigh.
seb at 11:45 PM
my daily routine.
some of you may have been wondering what on earth is seb busy with? so i thought that maybe i should do a breakdown on my activities, hoping that none of my friends will feel ignored or even offended.- i've to work like any other people during office hours.
- rush off to school most of the days which then ends at 10pm. by this hour, i have to spend 1.5hours to travel home when my tummy's not even filled yet.
- at about 11.30pm i'll reach home, bath and have my dinner, i'll start clearing my emails, think of quotations and replies to the respective clients. and when i'm finally done with everything, its already close to 1.30am.
this goes on and on and on, which explains why sometimes i'm really too tired to be out there having fun with you nice people. customers these days want to pay miserably for so much work to be done.
i'm not sure if i can even cope with my own school work. and just in case if you're wondering why i can still blog every other night, i would say that its a kind of discipline that i would like to cultivate.
from this you can see that i dun even have time for myself, leave alone the idea of having a gf. sophie could've been right to say that there at least someone could be there for me. but what if things turn out otherwise? wouldnt it be more of a burden to me? i dunno... maybe its still better off being alone.
seb at 12:08 AM
happy birthday vincent
Happy birthday vince... lol... i dunno what else can i wish you... prolly just enjoy the rest of your days in army and get your ass out of it soon.seb at 10:12 PM
canon shutterbug
went out with mike and nic today to the shutterbug seminar. den we caught the movie maimi vice. its pretty cool but i wish it could be more bloody. after which we had dinner at burger king, which is also where mike gave me an analysis on my love life using his tarrot cards, and according to him, true love will only come to me after the age of 35.bah... anyway i've decided to develop some photos which i've taken, framed it up and hang it on the walls around my room.
here's a shot from the show room today.
i wish i can own something like that someday. heh.
seb at 9:48 PM
old changi hospital
its my 6th time watching 50 first date today. i just cant get my mind off that movie. like how someone can make another fall in love with him over and over again for every other day.and also i realised that the the movie death note will be showing island wide on the day that i'll be leaving the army. death note, how encouraging.
anyway... i took on a tour in old changi hospital today... here's some of my takes... you can find the rest of it in my album.
the stairways were cold... very much deserted. eerie.
its been abandon for a long long time. it was used as a place to nurse wounded soldiers during the world war. many died there... the place still feels creepy.
seb at 12:06 AM
TGIF
seb breath seb... argh....anyway... looking forward to the photo shoot at old changi hospital later in the afternoon... and changi's sunset in the evening... hope to get some good pictures and i'll post it up here if possible.
seb at 12:38 AM
sociology
firstly... gotta make up with a screenshot of something that made me smile despite the shits that i've faced yesterday.
and also... a new toy i got today... spent almost everything i have on this baby... argh... which makes me now a happy poor man.
sociology for me today started off in a mess. i only realised that i brought the wrong set of notes to school when i'm in class, and that i've to find papers to scribble down those notes because i've also forgotten to bring my notepad. den the prof went on talking about how society shapes us when we're young. he mentioned that guys do not play with dolls. here, i would like to differ. i do play with my sister's barbies when i was still a boy. the only difference is my playing style varied a lil from my sister. i drown the dolls... used them as hostages for my transformers... and you know... stuff like that.
ok jokes aside. he also mentioned that we can always see ourselves in others. people treats you the way you portray yourself to be. den i suddenly thought of myself as a fool when i was with her, cos she treated me like one.
den along the way home on the train, there's this couple with four kids, running and jumping around in the train cabin. i swear i hate kids like that, or prolly that age range in particular. but what i hate most is the way that their parents allow things to happen. kids are all born empty, like a brand new hard disk. and if parents like them allow their children to behave like morons... they will eventually becoming one!
ok... enough for now. dead tired.
seb at 11:09 PM
untitled.
i respect you as someone who somehow educated me and for everything else that i've lived on till today. but just in case you've failed to realise, we've all grown up quite abit, things have changed. maybe we're both just too busy working in these recent years or that other factors might explain why we could hardly have any conversations at all.everything that you're doing now is so wrong and that you're not only pulling me away from you, but also everyone else who might even matter. your friends might mean you good in any way that you deem is good, and i respect that. however, having a personal interest in things that are happening around me, i felt that the success of a man, somehow reflects his level of maturity. and success to me in this context, does not mean rich.
i'm pretty disappointed actually, to the extend that i'm ashamed. if only you could listen, den things would prolly have turned out better today. nothing to me would mean more den my family, so dun ever step out of it.
seb at 11:10 PM
where's the comfort zone?
as what the title means, where's my comfort zone?its the beginning of a new saga when i'll have to juggle between work and studies. its awefully stressful mind you, but i've always love challenges. in fact, i did mention, i think, that i work better with a stressful environment.
but like any other normal human being, it would be nice for me to return home, after a day of long, boisterous, bloodthirsty battle, to a place which FEELS like home. not that i do not have enough things to be bothered with at all. i hate it when my dad goes on about how profitable can soccer bettings be. i hate it when my parents come grumbling to me how sick they are of each other. i hate it when everyone's not very much of a team player, to which i believe in this context, its extremely important.
where were the days when we would all sit together for some cheesy television programmes where we could just laugh it all out? where were the days when dinner would always taste of love? what happened to my lil corner in the room when i could bury myself in when things start to get unbearable? there aint no comfort zones for me to find here... did they just walk out on me?
tell me that whatever that i'm going through now is normal. tell me that everyone else is going through or have been through this too. and if so, god, you really screwed things up big time.
i'm feeling frustrated. very frustrated.
seb at 11:13 PM
isight with sugar.
my first ever pic together with sugar... using my macbook's isight. sorry if its not very clear, but you cant expect much from a build-in cam with such energetic subjects. pardon our untidiness too, i look like a siao kia after bathing her (you really have no idea how tough it is to do the job)... hahahere you go... cant see her eyes... cute right? haha
someday, things will turn out just the way i hope it'll be. someday... someday...
seb at 5:35 PM
i trimmed sugar's coat.
sugar for awhile, have been suffering from severely matted coat. today... i've decided to help her get rid of it, to save her from being fully shaved (no puns intended).let me know if anyone of you spotted any difference... cos not if... i'm good!
side view. mum told me to trim her coat around her face cos its covering her eyes... but i tot was cute... so i left it alone.
front view.
oh did i mentioned sugar dropped 2 more teeth this month? here's her new set of teeth... razor sharp... i'm training her to kill.
"ok... are you done with me yet? i hate this chair."
a neat hair cut, with a nice warm shower. she's a happy girl.
seb at 4:37 PM
never argue with any women.
today's the first time ever in close to 23 years that i've been to ktv with my sis and cousins. we had a lil problem with the lady at the front desk at first, she was extremely rude and not helpful. for a moment, it seems like they're paying us instead. i was trying to talk reason at first, but peijun thought that it might be faster if she had yelled at her, which of course, she did. i wun be surprise why women always win when they're argueing.did some shopping for sugar too. got her a nail clipper, comb and new milk bones.
aite... back to the match between man utd and arsenal now.
seb at 12:02 AM
untitled too
just got home from ming ge chan ting with keith.i must say that its a very nice place to spend lonely saturdays at. dun even think about going there for some friendly gatherings, catching up with all the yada yadas that have been going on with each other's life. you'll be affecting the poor singers who are trying their best to share their talents with you.
and on my way home, its also nice to catch some familiar faces which i often see online, standing right beside me.
looking forward to ktv with my sis and cousins tomorrow. my first time ever.
seb at 12:55 AM
untitled
ouch...it wasnt a very nice feeling to wake up with, i thought so.
the dark cast since noon kind of made everything else seemed worse.
nothing else was ever better to even begin with. emotionally that i think i'm referring to.
when i said i needed some time off to be alone awhile ago, i never knew so much would happen. i took a lil too long i guess.
how's it like out there now? i wan to know.
i really wan to.
seb at 5:02 PM
untitled
i hate the part when i have to always come out with a title. shall leave it untitled from now onwards, unless otherwise stated.its nice to have jack daniels with me every other night. when i felt so tired above everything else, jack's always here to put me to sleep. just like how he sits in now, together we flipped thru pages and pages of what i called memories. they were awfully bitter. shame on me that it happened.
if i even matter to anyone.
seb at 3:39 AM
untitled
i was on my way to work this morning and i overheard this old man complaining about how much money the government is squeezing out of us from taxes these days. in my honest opinion, i would say that if there's a rise in standard of living, there must be a rise to how the country gets more money. and if the country prosper, we too benefit from the growth of the economy isnt it? is it that we as singaporean are just too pampered that we treat everything that we have as our entitlement? we should be glad that we dont have taxes imposed like those in australia!not only women that i've failed to understand, old people can be a pain in the ass too. however, i'm not implying to all old people. was at SAGE today for a meeting and realised that there are many old folks out there who're still actively looking for a job to support themselves. kind of sympathise on them at times.
socoialogy isnt exactly as boring as what i've heard of it to be. sunny goh isnt that screwed afterall. a man with great substance. and in class today, this cute lady was sitting right beside me. no wonder today's lesson seemed more interesting den usual.
seb at 12:29 AM
mac
this marks the first entry by me on a macbook.things didnt exactly turn out to be they way i thought it would be though. not that i'm not excited about this new gadget, just that it isnt exactly very "usable". mac to me is like my mum using windows.
i've a problem here. i cant activate my photoshop for god knows why. i cant even click on activate to even begin with. pls give me a call, email me, tag me here or you can even snail mail me if u have a solution to it. i'm all worn out because of it. save me!!!
anyway... here's my macbook.
sometimes i dunno if its me thats missing her still or that i just need some love. yes i do feel lonely too.
sweet dreams
seb at 11:11 PM
politics.
tired as expected, but today's lecture kind of reassured me my stand.would like to share something which i thought might be useful to most of you, especially to those who're about to start work, or to those who're already in politics.
to me, there're two types of people in an organisation. the first would be someone being very confident of himself, always doing the right things at the right time. someone whom you thought would be the best of the best. someone whom you thought you can trust him to help you out, but in reality, he's gonna be the one who most likely would stab you real hard on your back and its true.
else for the second type of people would be someone who's constantly seeking for help. always complaining about how much his work load is, and whom in actual fact, is gonna go berserk anytime. his complains are what we call, bleating. only sheeps bleat. and in most organisations, sheeps constitute largely to the population. they're also sometimes known as, scape goats.
my point here is, even though if you're totally clueless about what's going on, act as if you know something! its all about pretending! would you rather be that high priest sacrificing the goat, or to be the one being sacrificed? we do have a choice you know. only the strong survives, and we know that!
i may sound despicable, obnoxious, low down, what ever you're gonna call me. but if you're gonna sympathise with everyone whom you'll ever come across, den good luck to you, happy scape goating. welcome to the zero error society.
i know exactly what i want. and i'll get there eventually.
and to you, if its the truth, just tell me the truth for christ sake. what do you get out of lies? why do you just enjoy lying so much? now you know why i can never trust a woman. i'm better off alone. damn i feel cheated.
anyway.... my macbook's arriving tml... haha! excited.
seb at 11:20 PM
ugly singapore part 2
the bus ride to work this morning was extremely incommodious. i hate to make this sweeping statement, but i think ALL women cant drive for nuts (i'm sure this is not the first time i'm saying this). she was practically hitting the brakes on every 2 seconds interval!den again, i think those who doesnt belong to this country, in a way, do constitute to our becoming. like that thai bugger who pushed me away while he conveniently put that big fat ass of his on the seat i was about to be on.
utterly disgusted.
anyway, i had a hair cut and bathed sugar today. now i just cant stop hugging her.
seb at 9:29 PM
ugly singapore
accompanied my mum and aunt to the food fair at expo today. the crowd there was no lesser den what comex had. people squeezing and yelling through the walk way, inconsiderate fools were standing in the middle of the road doing god knows what.but anyway.... here's my aunt (left) and my mum (right).
and SOME of what i had.
you know, those aunties really tell us alot about singapore. like how when i said excuse me, they think it meant "give me all your money". she glued themselves to the floor and den i have to budge my way through. i'm totally taken in by those selfish, ignorant fools.
den the three of us headed up to deck two to check out the branded apparels. was checking out the shirts at abercrombie and fitch, when i heard this uncle with his china girlfriend babbled something like "hiya... all these cheapskate shirts la... no brand one... dun bother la", and amongst which were brands like armani exchange and hollister. fwah.
on our way to the john little sale, i came across this hall, with something interesting.
wah piang eh.... i feel intimidated. after when i'm done with the photo, this boy around the age of 5, asked his mum this, "why is that uncle not wearing any shirt?". kids can be pretty interesting at times.
here's mum in action.
and did i mention how disappointing singaporeans are? the queues for payments were atrocious. it stretched to at least 300metre for each lane. i took the liberty to queue alone since i thought that it'll prolly take up another hour waiting. mum and aunt settled for coffee at a cafe nearby.
maybe i was too engrossed replying to clara's message that i didnt realised an old man suddenly jumped my queue. he declined all eye contact. maybe he's too old to go all the way back to the queue with the amount of load that he's carrying. i forgive him. 30mins later, this middle aged man with his son, WALKED INFRONT OF ME JUST LIKE THAT. this time i really wanted to give him a piece of my mind, but i didnt in the end la. i'm too nice for that.
how on earth can people lived through so many years with this kind of attitude? and worse still, how do you expect your son to grow up to be if in the first place, you're a fucked up dad? think about it. and i'm loving my good old phone already. i managed to sneak a shot of that 2 men.
could have saved 15minutes of my life if they haven't jumped my queue.
anyway, here's our loots for today.
4 pillows, 1 bolster (sugar chewed on my twenty three years old bolster today... sad), 4 pillow protector, 1 bed sheet set, 1 new tank for my tortise, 1 rendang double meal for dinner.
my new bed set.
seb at 8:26 PM
older women
i do have this soft spot for older women afterall (older doesnt mean aunties you fool). they appeal more to me den those pretty young chics, which i do not know why. amongst all the skimpily dressed young hot babes, i noticed a mother of two today. she held herself well, her class, her charm, simply alluring.oh well... she's married.
5 more days closer to my macbook.
nothing really interesting about me lately, not that it ever was. i'm a boring guy.
seb at 8:52 PM
stupid recruits.
big duffle bags... young men choking up the whole passage way... desperately fighting for can drinks... and all the sad goodbyes... my recruit days were more or less the same. and only till now that i realised how stupid i look back den. glad that its all over for good.seb at 10:06 PM
any jobs for me?
People, if you have or know of any jobs related to marketing or management, in a good working environment (like good pay, accessible, lots of chics), please give me a call on my mobile. alternatively, you can drop me an email. i swear i'll treat you to a feast.out of the sudden, on my way home, was feeling kind of weird. like you know, when you're totally clueless of whats going on in life. have no idea what you're working for. dun even know if u're happy or sad. dun feel like going out. dun feel like talking to anyone. are they signs of depression? i hope not though.
prolly all singles feel this way. like a fire without its flame.
on the other hand, who cares. as long as i bury myself in my pile of work. as long as my macbook's coming next wednesday. HA
seb at 8:18 PM
about before.
have you ever had once in your life that you find everything else around you meant nothing but just fun? those innocent days where you play as if thats the only thing you'll ever have to do. well, i do miss those days, with gary and frens when we're only abt 15. and also those days in the brigade, where we do nothing else but eat, sleep and also those daffy conversations. nothing ever really matters at all. yea... those were the days.dont you just hate to grow up?
anyway... sugar can be pretty irritating at times. like when she's hungry, she'll keep pushing her bowl around the house, swinging it in her mouth from right to left and left to right, making a hell lot of noise, just to grab your attention.
here's a shot of her.
her coat's kind of long. but aint silkies suppose to have long coats? maybe i should let it grow, to cover her eyes, tangle her limbs, so that it'll get her out of trouble for awhile. freaking naughty piece of furball. she's getting out of hand.anyway, lets hope that keith's grandpa will get well soon.
seb at 8:42 PM
maybe i should start blogging in chinese from now. as much as i hope i can, i'll try.
不知不觉已经过了那么久。对于爱情的观念也随着一切慢慢的改变。
这世界以失去它原有的单纯，美丽。
有时会羡慕别人所拥有的，让我也拼命地寻找自己那份渴望的爱。
但这所有的希望，到底还只是梦想。
事业对我现在来说，占有了我的全部。
我好像知道，真爱，你还存在吗？
为什么还不快来找我?
and to you gal, you've seen me fall too many times. yet i got myself standing up again after every stumble i took. for those who know me well enough should know that i've been struggling with some bad relationship for a very long time (and i seriously mean a very long time), till lately only that i think i've finally break free.
it might take some time, and support from those around you. but its never impossible, unless you're telling me that you're not willing to try hard enough. you've been here for me when i was down, which gives me every reason why i should be there for you too.
trust me. its just loneliness that we're feeling right now. everything's gonna turn out just right some day.
seb at 10:51 PM
Happy Birthday jerald!!!
just got home not too long ago from jerald's first birthday. i was frantic over where to get a last minute present for him, since its the first time i'm meeting him too. handsome lil chap he is. =)
i cock up in most of the pictures i took.... and this is one of the normal ones. happy birthday jerald!
friend and jerald. very interesting of how kids behave. cute.
i couldnt stop thinking about so many things when i'm on my way back. spoke to my former S3 earlier on and he proposed me with this business plan which sounds pretty feasible. will meet up with him again next week perhaps.
好想拥有一份真正属于我的爱情。
轰轰烈烈的爱一回。
但我真的好累，
甚至想放弃。
seb at 10:55 PM
影子
就像影子离不开晴天，而我又离不开谁呢？有时候，真的好孤独，好寂寞。
开心或难过，只在一线之差。
你明白吗？
seb at 3:38 AM
Comex. Again.
was telling eric the other day that i think i'm pretty lifeless. home so early on a saturday, maybe i'm right afterall. hahamet up with edwin and darrell after school today. edwin wanted to sign up for the singnet broadband promo too. and at comex, saw a couple of familiar faces there... check it out.
and before i leave the hall, i saw chua and vincent too.
btw... i got my student card a couple of days ago.
sometimes, i do envy couples i see on the streets. but guess being single might be a good thing at times too. at least i only have myself to worry about. no more quarrels, no more heartaches.
just me, myself and i.
seb at 9:10 PM
i wish i have 48hours a day, 12hours of sleep each day.
seriously, its never easy to juggle between work and studies. not when u've not just one job to deal with. i've depleted whats left in me for this week, so i've decided to spend this coming sunday sleeping at home for the entire day (hopefully i can). 24hours a day can never be enough! can we have like a feedback section for time extension?i'm looking forward to my MacBook which is arriving in 2 weeks time. but at the same time, i'm dreading whats ahead of me in 2weeks time too. 3 days of school instead of 1, how about that?
i appreciate stress, i know i work better that way. but maybe its all coming in too fast, i need time to adapt!
seb at 11:53 PM
My Mac Book!!!
got my dad to terminate this max online service today. not because it suck, or maybe it kind of suck, but i was falling more towards to promotion singnet is giving. signed up a 3 years contract for my precious Mac Book. keith and company are going to sign up for it too! this is so exciting! haha.Comex is really a very very very sinful place to be at. got myself another cf card at the expense of my good old mum.
with all the goodies coming my way, i kind of feel stressed actually. beginning to feel the burden on my shoulders. responsibilities. its time for me to play a part in this family. when its time for me to leave the army, its where i begin my brand new journey in life, from boy to man.
met up with gary and chuan yong a minute ago. gotta drive around the car gary rented. he's leaving for thailand tomorrow, for work. all the best bro, take care and best wishes.
till den, good nite.
seb at 12:50 AM
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