rainy days
its been awhile since i slept till this late... woke up at 4.30 today... totally exhausted. sitting back on the arm chair in my room... thinking of what have happened for the recent months. despite all the company i have had... there is still a tinge of emptiness in me. sometimes... i really hated myself for who i am today... other times... i would think that this is the best way to keep myself far away from storm. i'm neither happy... nor am i really hurt anymore.i'm guilty. of everything. i've never wanted all these to happen. i just cant seem to sort things out no matter what. i felt so helpless most of the time. for once... i truly felt like crying. life definitely will never be like a bed of roses. especially for a someone like me. i dont think i deserve anyone at all. at least for now. there are so many things that i wish i could make it sound sweeter and better. there are things that i would like to do to make things right. yet on contrary... the second me hates all of these.
don't play tricks on me again.
Don't make me go insane, I can't take the pain.
i want to be that child of Yours in Your arms again.
take me away to that never land.
i praise You, in the name of love.
seb at 6:21 PM
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