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Monday, April 23, 2007
yet again i'm sitting here infront of the screen... all alone by myself... wondering what should i do next. when i thought that everything else was dark enough... it just got darker. seems like i've been bumping around without a clue... hoping that someone out there might just shine me a beam of light and lead me out of all this blackhole. its been a period of controversy with very much down time. what would you have done if the life you're in is giving you too many options? especially when its all a heart game. how much would it matters to you knowing that the person you like/love isnt exactly feeling the same way about you? one thing's for sure that i'm not feeling good at all.
i've been commanding so much attention over the past 1 yr or so. i appreciate all my friends around me who lifted me when i was down. and i also do cherish for those who've loved me. every single relationship i swear is a lesson to me. very valuable lessons. i really hate having to make decisions like these all the time. especially when i know it hurts. i would have easily rated emotional setbacks as the number 1 killer over cancer. it just keeps your mind spinning without even knowing why. whats more to say that i really didnt want to leave. this i dont really have a choice.
all that i've with me at this hour of the night is sugar and the good ol jack daniels which i know will never fail me. why wouldnt i be happy, if madness had laughter. why do i wish for the sun, when the moon is just so captivating. its gonna be a quick-long night for me i'm sure.
cheers to the broken hearts, and my joy to sorrow. tomorrow will be a brand new day.
seb at 9:30 PM
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