untitled.
while cleaning up my room and computer, i found alot of things that once meant alot to me, some still are.i remember a visit i made to grandpa house just a week before he passed on, i took a couple of photos with him and my cousin. it was my cousin in her graduation robe. but before i could process the pics, i thought i've accidentally deleted all of them. until now, luckily, i've found the raw files somehow. its also a kind of relieve, at least i saved myself from guilt.
here's one of it.
and also i've found something which does ring a bell or two... which i thought would be wise to share.
"Take any emotion - love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what i'm gg through, fear & pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions - if you don't allow yourself to go all the way though them - you can never get to being detached. You're being too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, grief & the vulnerability tt loving entails.
Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It wont hurt you. It'll only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a fimiliar shirt, then you can say to yourself "All rite, its just fear, I don't have to let it control me. I see it for what it is"
Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, fel it completely-but eventually be able to say , "All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I'm not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I'm going to put that loneliness aside & know tt there are other emotions in the world, and I'm going to experience them as well"
den i realised i think its what sophie quoted from the book "its called a break up because its broken."
sometimes i really wonder what do we really live for in life. we work hard for an extra dollar, we love the things that we do, we spend valuable time with our family and friends. but is it truely that when one's unable to find their soulmate, none of the above mention could ever complete that man?
let fate bring me through this, and eventually, take me to where i belong.
seb at 12:13 AM
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