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Friday, October 27, 2006
this is prolly the time of the day that hits me the most. when i finally have the time to sit back to think about my day. den i thought, i screwed up quite badly for the interview today. i could still feel that piercing pain right through my heart.
loitered around orchard for the entire afternoon. trying to catch a glimpse of my past. and so i took the window seat in coffee club, observing how people move from a point to another, to think that they know exactly whats going on in their life. den i remembered what my sociology lecturer, mr sunny goh, had mentioned during class sometime ago that everyone does everything for a reason. everyone live for a reason. so whats mine?
met up with andrew to pick up some materials from art friends right before i leave for school. he told me his story of that how he got to know his gf. i really dont hate him for digging into my wound. he's a good pal, and i'm really happy for him.
but sometimes, ok in fact almost all the time, i do envy lovey dovey couples. i want to have a relationship i called my own. i yearn to have my very own kind of love tale to boast about! their happiness had an immediate impact on my downfall. it just reminds me on how fucked up i am with relationships.
summarising what i've just said, basically i'm still jobless. and hopeless. want to love, but scared to love, and noone to love. still dwelling. so lets just wait for another week, to see if our almighty Father have decided to spare me some change, and make my miserable life slightly better.
seb at 2:36 AM
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