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Tuesday, October 03, 2006
today marks the 49th day that grandpa had left us. we burnt everything that's left of him, the atmosphere was rather solemn. though he's no longer with us, his spirit lives on. he's still deep down there, in the middle of my heart. i'll never forget the way he treated me, that tender loving care. i'll do your proud someday.
over the months, i've been sorting out much of my feelings. without her, life was indeed very different. for better or worse, i do not know. i've been having alot of time to myself and thats for sure. but sometimes i wonder if thats just all that i need.
not that i've not thought about going into another rs. its more like i dun even know if i'm ready for another. rather protective towards myself from the last experience. my heart's been too fragile to take another blow.
my career now mean alot to me... but somehow... i needed someone to share the joy i've attain from my success. somehow here to enjoy everything i've now with me. else everything's nothing but just an empty shell isnt it?
think about it, seb.
seb at 12:01 AM
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